June 2012
11 posts
I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in...
Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.
Jun 19th
133,495 notes
2 tags
Jun 19th
5 notes
vladith asked: How did the whole "Becoming a Cracked writer" process work?
Jun 19th
3 notes
1 tag
Jun 14th
500 notes
2 tags
Much ado about MAE
I’m working on a post about Florence + The Machine, but I still don’t feel like I’ve listened to enough to really be able to deconstruct it. In lieu of that, I’m going to write about the band Mae. I can’t quite believe that I’ve written as many posts as I have and not even mentioned the band Mae. The name comes from a college course one of the members took...
Jun 12th
5 notes
1 tag
The Oatmeal responds to FunnyJunk demanding... →
cracked: Brought to you by Removed Watermarks Everywhere, LLC.
Jun 12th
201 notes
2 tags
You know what's kind of beautiful?
timorleste: In French, you don’t really say, “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which is closer to, “You are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb or an organ, or blood. I cannot function, without you. One of my favorite things about French.
Jun 12th
384,255 notes
1 tag
Jun 7th
3,101 notes
5 tags
Jun 7th
3 tags
Jun 5th
4 notes
Anonymous asked: Do you like Florence + The Machine? I'm just curious, as I love your blog!
Jun 2nd
1 note